Towards the end of December I was feeling really fed up with how my eating patterns had changed, how I didn’t really care what I ate and when I ate it. Fair enough, it was the festive season and I had to give myself some slack but sorry to break it to you, there does come a point where having whatever you like everyday is just too much!

On the first of january 2017, all preppy and excited for the new year, I planned out a whole 3 month plan of eating clean, and exercising 6 days a week, and in some people’s world, this is a reality unfortunately it just wasn’t my reality. I only lasted 21 days.

Now, i’m not going to say it was awful and that I hated every second of it because I didn’t. It actually came quite easily for me because I generally do eat well on a regular basis but after around 2 weeks it started to get a bit more difficult. Birthday parties were slowly approaching and celebrations were beginning – the time to resist temptation and i didn’t know if I could do it.

Up until this point, I was seeing incredible results physically. My body was slowly shaping out to be the way I wanted it, I was looking healthy but unfortunately, I wasn’t mentally healthy. On the 21st of Jan I went to a dinner with a bunch of girls for one of their birthdays. I deprived myself of having a good time because I was forcing myself to eat well and not cheat. It became a poor memory for myself rather than a fond one because I made it like that.

Little did I know that cheating on your diet every now and then is the only sort of cheating that is acceptable. I grew so unhappy mentally that, although my body looked good physically, I actually wasn’t so healthy mentally. I made myself feel guilty for everything bad that I ate and sometimes it wasn’t even bad food (I mean do you even get such a thing?) I just made myself to believe it was and things started changing for me. I constantly had this thought lingering at the back of my mind “If you eat that slice of bread or have more peanut butter you’re going to put on weight” it actually started being so ridiculous that I was constantly unhappy and I would either eat too much or nothing at all because of it. No matter where I was or what I was doing or what I was eating, I was honestly just unpleasant to be around – sad truth.


Then it clicked.


I was only being as unhappy as I was allowing myself to be about eating all these things. I was brainwashing myself and feeling guilty about what? About being human and having cravings for chocolate and the odd bowl of pasta. Instead of giving myself any sort of credit on what I was accomplishing I was bashing myself for what was hardly anything to begin with. I was making mountains over hills for no reason!

So if there is one thing I want you to take away with you after reading this; You can still achieve the goals you want to achieve physically and mentally by having a cheat meal every once in awhile. I would say once a week is better then once in awhile. You are human and you are deserving of whatever you are craving. You’ve been working hard so treat yourself and your body.

Eating healthy shouldn’t feel like a duty, it shouldn’t feel like a chore that you actually don’t want to bother with. It should be something that makes you feel even better about yourself then normal and it should be exciting. I did the test so you didn’t have to! You can thank me later 😉

I always said that eating well is a lifestyle and not a diet. The second you see it as a diet, that’s when it goes pear shaped. I read a thread on twitter by The Fitnessblender and they said that harsh diets and obsessive tracking & measuring can lead to weight gain IF you begin abusing your body. Take note of that because it’s important.

I eat well and I maintain a healthy lifestyle to enjoy it. If I have to start cutting out things that I love, it becomes unenjoyable.

I know everyone’s body is different but this is how my body reacted by me not looking after it when I actually thought I was. I would rather put on a few KG’s and be mentally healthy then lose a few and be a sour peach.

Now I prep my meals on a sunday and when the weekend arrives I treat myself to whatever I want. It is so important to have that sort of balance in your life, especially if you’re like me and find it difficult to have any sort of balance, I either have too much or too little balance. Nothing in between but i’m learning and the sooner you learn, the happier you will be. I am and I know you are too!

Have you ever had any sort of experiences similar to me? If so, let me know in the comments below on how you overcame them and what made you happier. I would love to hear them!